Hey, Baby…give me a smile….

In the past few days, this video (also posted below) went viral on Facebook.

It is created by Rob Bliss of Rob Bliss Creative in conjunction with Hollaback! A non-profit group working to end street harassment which is currently in 79 cities and 26 countries. 

Most women have been harassed as they walk down the street at some point in their lives. It may be negative or mocking, but often it is catcalls, honking and unwanted complements. Unwanted compliments are difficult. It can be hard to complain about a guy saying you have nice hair or some other part of your body that is not sexual. If it is sexual, it is easier to identify. 

Where is the line between paying someone a compliment and harassment? How many women walk down the street and tell passing guys that they like their eyes or their toned arms? The closest we usually get to that is to tell them we like their shirt. Usually this is to identify with them in some way, recognizing a fellow fan, alumnus, etc. As women, we accept some types of compliments regularly about our appearance. Those types are great and we love it when people, usually people we know, pay them freely. But, of course, the difference is that they are not objectifying us in any way. 

Since it is something that often happens when we are alone, for each of us it is a singular experience. We can tell people about it but, it is hard to articulate how it makes us feel. It is entirely possible you tell someone and they say, “He said you have nice hair? The jerk!...So, what’s your problem?” Many of us don’t bother telling anyone because, what good would complaining do and, if you don’t explain it right, it might sound like bragging.

I thought this video was great. It does a couple of things. It tells me that I am not alone in my experience, that there are more than just a few guys out there that think this is ok and, gives me something to show men to see what happens when a woman walks down the street in jeans and a crewneck shirt.

I think the perspective is interesting and the sound is great but, you don’t get the proximity. There is a point where a guy is trying to give her his number and there are several people around her and there is some distance between her and the camera. There are a couple of times the fact that the guys are up close to her plays into it. 

The one that walks beside her for several minutes is disturbing but, I personally think he would have gone away if she had looked at him. If that didn’t work, one gigantic step to the right and a change of pace would have changed the dynamic and he would have gone away or pursued. At that point, the people around would be overtly aware that his attention was unwanted. However, her escape route is not the point; the point is that she shouldn’t have to deal with this while simply walking down the street.

Since writing this, other news/social media outlets have picked it up.
Just a few:

• Stop the Harassment: A Guide to Approaching Women on the Street

•  Slate XXfactor: The Problem with That Catcalling Video

• Huffington Post: Watch This Woman Receive 100 Catcalls While Walking Around for a Day 

•  There are many other articles and blog posts by now and plenty of people like Michael Che that will miss the point. Which Salon weighed in on. 

•  Then, there is a little hyperbolic video about white, male privilege.  Walking Around NYC as a White Man