Today was, as Monica would describe it, “just one of them days, when I wanna be all
alone it's just one of them days, when I gotta be all alone.”
Since my mind
really wasn’t on feminist Camp today I’m going to switch it up and speak upon
my current feelings.
In my introductory Women Studies course, we discussed
the topic of “white privilege” and the term privilege as whole.
In one way
shape or form you have experienced something that the person next to you hasn’t, which makes them the person of privilege.
Since the first day of this
trip, I have seen “white privilege” being used against me right in front of my
face. For example, I asked one of my peers “Is a train station like an airport? Like do they check your bags,
because I have my Taser?” These
individuals busted out laughing, and in my head, I’m thinking I am dead ass
serious, I need to be protected at all times. That is when a lightbulb went off
in my head that they just don’t get it!
It frustrates me because these are the individuals who have taken the WMST 101 course who may have agreed that acting as such is
wrong yet they still do it, obliviously.
As a person of color who takes these courses surrounded by white
women and people of different ethnicities how can I believe that these courses
are ways to bring awareness to situations when in reality it seems as though
it’s a slap in the face because obviously nothing’s changed?
[editor's note: white privilege isn't the only form of "privilege," as Miracle explains next].
As I’ve mentioned
to the group, I have a mild Cerebral Palsy that affects both of my legs. Cerebral
Palsy is a congenital disorder of movement, muscle tone, or posture. I understand
that the New York lifestyle is fast paced, even down to the speed of your walking.
However, I also know my speed limit as far as how much force and
pressure that I can put on my legs to get from point A to Point B. Thus far in
this trip, I tend to be the “slow poke” of the group the one that everyone has
to wait on at the crosswalks, even though the sign says walk.
Just yesterday were running late to a
scheduled event and one on my peers says abruptly, “Come on girls, we have approximately 7 minutes to get to this event, your
legs being too short is not an excuse!” At that moment I froze, but before I
could even open my mouth to speak I had to think,
do I:
A. respond as Miracle the person who is
sensitive about her condition and come off as the bitchy girl of the group?
or
do I :
B collect myself, and approach the
situation as an adult?
I chose option B, and said “um, excuse me, I have a leg
condition so that is my excuse; if you all leave me that’s fine I’ll just be
lost.” She quickly said, “I am so sorry I
didn’t know, there I go being insensitive,” but to me the damage is already
done, you said what you said because you meant it. Had I not addressed it, she
would’ve continued to think that that was okay.
Privilege. Just this morning my foot gave out as I was coming down
the ladder to get off the top bunk of the bed and I fell face first onto the
floor. Luckily, I felt my self about to fall (this time) so I guarded my face.
After asking if I was okay, one of the girls in the room with me said, “Do you not use the last step?!” As if me using the last step would have
prevented me from falling. I angrily responded by saying "I TRIED!"
It just bothers me how insensitive people can be to others' situations, which is why today was just one of those days and I hope they didn’t
take me being distant personal.
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